Second Plus Gen Matching
Become a Candidate
When are you ready for a relationship? Only you can tell.
Until then, we are here to offer some support and guidance on your journey, and hopefully we can answer all of your questions.
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Matching and Blessing is an internal process, so it's important to take enough time to prepare your heart and to prepare a foundation that Heavenly Parent can work on. That’s why we strongly recommend offering conditions and daily prayers, ideally together with your parents.
Go to the section "Preparing for the Matching" to find out more!
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True Parents introduced the new tradition of finding a partner with the help of our parents and Heavenly Parent. It is important that we communicate openly and honestly with our parents.
In case it is difficult to share honestly with your parents, we recommend including a matching supporter who can help as a mediator in this process.
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The handbook was created to help parents and candidates to get a deeper understanding of the matching and blessing processes, and as guidance in preparation for a successful matching.
Please read it together before starting a matching process.
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An official Level 2: Matching & Blessing Preparation Workshop organized with BFD EUME should be completed before starting a Matching Process.
The workshop is also a requirement to join the international matching website.
BFD EUME organises this workshop twice a year: once in the early spring and once in the autumn.
Usually they are: one online on Zoom and one in person.
There might be a local workshop happening near you. Check our calendar or reach out to your local BFD representative for more info.
The certificate should not be older than 2 years when receiving the Cosmic Blessing. So we recommend attending the workshop before starting the Matching process and, if the certificate has expired, once more before attending the Cosmic Blessing.
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In the interview the Candidate will be asked to share their understanding of the value of the Blessing and the tradition of Parents’ Matching, and whether they kept their purity for the Blessing. In the Confession, the candidate should share their reflections on their current lifestyle and the necessary changes they have gone through in the last years, as well as any regrets or wrong-doings concerning their purity.
The interview and confession are requirements to be on the international matching website.
Contact your national Blessing Department leader to receive a list of the people with whom you can do the interview. You will receive the form to upload to the Blessingapplication.eu Website from the person you do the interview with.
Please note that the Interview and Confession should only be done in person and not online.
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Create a profile on our website
This website is used to upload the required documents and will give you an overview on your current Blessing Application status and the missing Blessing Qualifications.
You can start uploading your documents anytime after your 18th birthday.
Guide on how to join:
Go to www.blessingapplication.eu
Click on "New Registration"
Fill out the required fields and register
Your profile will be approved within a couple of working days and you will receive an email once you can login.
An overview of all Blessing qualifications can be found here.
Finding the One
Before your parents start looking for a match please make sure you have done all necessary preparations. Please go to the section “Becoming a Candidate”...
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We recommend that the parents and the candidate each fill out this worksheet separately, and then work together to create a single, unified plan.
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Before you and your parents start looking for a match please always prepare a representative profile and quality pictures of yourself.
It gives you a chance to reflect about yourself and the more you share about yourself, your desires, aspirations it will be easier for other parents to get a first impression of you and to make an actual step to contact your parents.
Our Matching Support team prepared a profile form that will help you to introduce yourself better Download form
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Matching Supporters are available to support a candidate and their family through the matching process. We are in regular communication with each other and are developing a good overview and understanding of the situation and challenges facing EUME families who are in the process of matching their children.
A Matching Supporter can:
help families to understand the guidelines and procedures involved in the matching process and to make all necessary preparations for the matching
help candidates and families in the process of finding other candidates.
act as a mediator between two families.
help research the situation of someone suggested as a possible match.
and much more…
Look at the list of our European Matching Supporters (login required)
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There are different ways on how to find a match. The most common tool in EUME is the international matching website. Below we created suggestions. It is important that both the candidate and his/her parents are clear about the method and keep each other informed.
Suggestions from your parents
International Matching Websites: blessing4u.org
Suggestions from the candidate, family and friends, matching supporters, BFD leaders, etc.
Attend Parents Matching Convocation
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When you find a candidate that you are interested in, parents can contact the other family by email, by phone, in-person, through matching supporters or the national BFD leaders.
Discuss thoroughly with the other family, make conditions, TAKE YOUR TIME to do this.
We suggest 3 steps for the matching introduction:
INTRODUCTION OF CANDIDATES
We suggest timing be carefully considered and that the process not be rushed.
INITIAL COMMUNICATION PERIOD
We recommend a period of initial communication between the two candidates of approximately 21 days, in order to consider whether to enter into a formal matching process.
MATCHING PROCESS & DEEPER COMMUNICATION (“Heavenly courtship”)
After communicating thoroughly, the candidates should decide if they wish to become a matched couple. We recommend a time period of 7 months as a guideline.
Next step would be the commitment ceremony. Read more below.
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It is possible to register on the international matching website and search for a candidate there. The website offers a wide range of 2nd+ Gen candidates from all over the world. Again we recommend creating a profile which offers a deep and thoughtful introduction of the candidate.
Here is a step-by-step description on how to register:
Go to: www.blessing4u.org
The Candidate needs to register
The Candidate has to fill out all the fields and upload a personal photo
Inform the webmaster that you have completed the profile
The webmaster will check if you fulfill all requirements to be on the website (Level 2 WS and Interview and Confession)
The status of your profile will be changed to “visible”
Your parents will receive an email with the parents password
Your parents can search for other candidates
If you encounter any difficulties, contact our webmaster Doreen Waldmann webmaster.eume@gmail.com
Guidance for Parents
The internal preparation for our children to go the way of the matching and “Holy Blessing” starts already in our home. Parents can be role models for their children through living a good married life and through their faith in Heavenly and True Parents. Therefore, it is important that you build a trusting and honest relationship with your children from an early age. We should make an effort to achieve better communication with the child who wants to get matched and to develop a better understanding of his/her inner feelings, wishes and hopes and actual life situation.
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Set a good example by striving to become a Blessed couple who love and respect each other. This is the best way for your child to experience a loving relationship.
Discuss the process with your spouse. Even if one parent takes a more active role, it is important that you agree with one another on how to approach the matching process before you begin. Keep each other informed about any updates.
As parents it is important to set spiritual conditions together before matching your child. It is very important that you feel united during this process.
Reflect and share about the strengths and weaknesses of your child. Talk about what kind of person might fit as a partner for your child and why. Respect each other's opinions and pray and reflect about those points.
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Does our child want to be matched? Is our child ready to start a matching process?
Suggest to them that they should start a spiritual condition, together with parents if possible.
After this, you can discuss their wishes and preferences, but do not be limited by them. Help them to be more open to God’s viewpoint and not just their own desire.
Parents should respect their child’s input throughout the process and give them ownership over the final matching decision. Listen carefully to any comments/suggestions your child has to give.
It is important that your child can trust you to find a partner for them. Don’t push or force the process.
In order to find the right partner, parents need to be aware of the level of purity of their own child. Support them to resolve any purity or lifestyle issues before beginning a matching process.
Each candidate needs to complete their Blessing application. Please be aware of the current status of your child’s application (check the overview of the conditions to receive the Blessing).
Before starting with the matching process, make an appointment to talk with your BFD leader to get guidance and advice.
Attend a “Blessing Preparation Workshop” together with your child. This shows your child that you have a sincere interest in the matching. By attending this workshop, both you and your child will have a common understanding of the matching process.
Matching for “Treasures from Heaven”
Our Treasures from Heaven Department is very happy to support you or your child in the beautiful journey of finding a partner.
Read more on the department below:
Commitment Ceremony
After the Candidates have communicated and decided that they want to accept the Matching, they should make their decision official with a Matching or Commitment Ceremony. Please keep in mind that the couple should have met at least once in person before holding the commitment ceremony.
Second+ Gen. can hold this ceremony together with their families. Both families should sign the Matching papers.
Candidates can also organize it together with the Matching Supporter or community leader.
Please submit the signed form to the BFD and inform your communities.
Below you can find a suggested programme idea for your commitment ceremony (borrowed from the Blessing Ministry of North America):
Relationship as a Matched Couple
It’s important to prepare well for the Blessing as a matched couple. We recommend doing spiritual conditions together and to consciously invite Heavenly Parent into the relationship.
We want to strongly emphasize that the couple maintains a brother and sister relationship during this time. Heavenly Parent is looking forward to giving you the Cosmic Blessing as a couple and to start your relationship from that day on.